


Unreal

by chikayouriko



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, also a dash of brothers au bc i love, get this out of my face i'm sick of it, i've been writing this for the past few days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 02:03:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7739191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chikayouriko/pseuds/chikayouriko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this whole adventure was like a weird, long dream for keith, so there's no way any of this was actually real. nothing between the magical space lions or the fact that he has a crush on lance is real. it can't be. (he also can't come to terms with the fact that he's gay for the team meme of all people. why him.)<br/>also has a little bit of shiro/keith brothers au at the beginning because why not</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unreal

_It’s unreal_ , Keith thinks.

All of this is unreal. The fact that he’s millions, if not _billions_ of light years away from Earth, is unreal. Piloting a red magical space lion is unreal. Being a defender of the entire _universe_ with literally everyone depending on you, it’s so unreal. Sometimes he pinches his arm, surprised to find red blossoming on the pale expanse and his nerves flashing red lights to his brain.

It’s unreal that any of this is real, much less all of it. But this destiny that has been thrown at him doesn’t seem like the oddest thing to the red paladin.

After Keith left the garrison, he was never expecting to make any friends. Even before, he had few friends, and even less who he would consider putting his life down for. The pilot code stated that you should protect other pilots at all costs, that you constantly put your life on the line. That was your duty. He never felt that he could truly live up to that before Voltron. It felt unreal to have friends he would literally die for, let alone trust them with practically anything.

Nebulae kiss the galaxies outside of the castle, travelling in speeds far faster than Keith can wrap his head around. If he closes his eyes, he can still imagine himself getting ready for his first day of pilot school. None of this, none of these events that he’s gone through would be even fathomable to his younger self, much less what lies ahead. He doesn’t even know what could happen mere hours from now. It was small, but Voltron was making its mark on the Galra infested universe. At any minute, Zarkon could send a few fleets after them and they could risk their lives.

Keith hadn’t felt so alive in years.

Having a purpose, having a cause to fight for, it fueled him. Having friends that he admired fighting with him pushed him forward. Having something, _anything_ , to fight for, no matter how small, was something he forgot could exist for himself. Well, prior to finding Shiro, but that was a temporary thing. (He never thought he could find the older paladin in merely a year, he thought it would’ve taken much longer. Part of him wanted to find him as soon as possible, to find his dear brother who was presumed dead, but having a reason to get up every morning was nice and he wanted to cherish it.) Never did he think that he would so soon find purpose again.

_And if this isn’t real, I sure as hell don’t wanna wake up._

A sudden knock on his door brings him from his trance, a stuttered “Come in,” flying from his mouth.

“Keith, you okay? Dinner was ready half an hour ago.”

Thank god it was Shiro. When he’s alone with his brother, it doesn’t seem like it’s real. The boy exhales, the slightest of smiles on his face. “Yeah. Just thinking. I’ll be out.”

“Everything okay?” Shiro furrows his eyebrows, a perplexed expression clouding his features as he takes a few steps forward.

“Mhm. I’m just...glad, that I’m a part of this. It’s nice being needed.”

His brother was the only one that got to hear such things and see such a side of Keith. Well, slowly enough he opened up to other paladins, but usually it was only Shiro. Defending the universe with a small group of people makes you start to form bonds with them.

“Well your stomach needs food.” It’s a teasing but understanding brotherly tone, one that Keith had missed far too much.

“Oh I just love space goo. It’s my favorite meal, honestly.” he pushes himself off his bed, grabbing his jacket and sliding it on.

“Don’t sound so excited, now.”

-

It’s unreal when Keith thinks he’s starting to feel something more than friendship towards anyone. He first notices it when he’s out on the training deck, doing his usual sparring with bots. Lance’s back is to his, and it’s one of the rare moments when they’re not fighting with each other. The brunet isn’t as good with close combat as he is with shooting, but he’s doing well enough that Keith doesn’t have to worry about being stabbed in the back by the hypothetical enemy.

He doesn’t know when his heart started pounding from emotions rather than physical exercise. The stupid smile, the slap on his back, the general positivity and confidence, what was it?

“Heh...you’re getting better…”

Lance flashes a grin as the bots power down. “I should be..! How long have we been up in space anyways? A few months..? I would hope I’d get better!”

Annoying voice. Irritating grin. Keith shakes it from his mind. “Yeah, so do the rest of us.”

He’s greeted with an exhausted punch to the shoulder and a (weird space) water bottle thrown at his face.

“Stuff it, mullet man.”

It’s a good nature-ed tone though, one that makes the red paladin’s heart flutter. Again, he ignores it, and opts for the water in his hand.

Had these feelings been here before? Maybe he was just getting closer to Lance, in a friendly way. Friendship was slightly foreign to him, but romance was an entirely different battlefield. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be romance. Maybe he was just now admitting to himself that Lance was kind of attractive. Nothing wrong with that. Friends can be attractive. So why were his heartstrings being tugged every time Lance spoke another language? It had to be European, he knew that much.

“Hey, Earth to Keith? Or wherever the hell we are right now. Who knows. Hey, middle of nowhere to Ke-”

“I get it. What?” Keith shakes his hand, noticing that he caught his breath a little while ago. He seemed to be getting lost in his thoughts again.

“You totally spaced out there, dude. Been training too much?”

Is that concern? Probably not, but _maybe_ just a teeny tiny bit. If he could, he would punch his heart right now.

“No, just thinking about possible strategies to use to get out of a situation like that quickly if we were outnumbered.” Referring to the mock battle they were just in off the top of his head like that was a step up for Keith. He gives himself a mental pat on the back.

“Whatever, we can just destroy them and be on our way!”

 _Stupid._ Stupid infuriating idiot. Keith pinches himself right there discreetly to see if this is real, because there was _no way_ he was falling for a complete dork who’s eyes were _sparkling oh my god._

-

The realization comes late at night, when Keith can’t fall asleep and he’s constantly turning and tossing in his bed. At least a little, he’s feeling the budding of seeds of affection. It’s gross, it’s disgusting, and it makes him feel _weak._ Just imagining holding hands and Lance flashing that _oh so flirty_ smirk at him has his knees wobbling and his heart aching.

Promptly, he slaps himself and drags his ass out of bed. He’s going to train. Training always solved his problems.

But when he wakes up again that morning and gets up for breakfast, Lance happens to notice the slight dark circles under his eyes and Keith just dies right there.

There is no _maybe_ about what he’s feeling. He’s falling and he’s falling _hard._

-

Distance. Distance is the way Keith solves all his problems if training doesn’t work. (He still does train vigorously and more often, it helps keep whatever’s bothering him off his mind.) But that very same thing makes the point of his troubles frustrated.

It’s muffled, but when Keith goes to grab a snack from the kitchen he can hear his name and miffed words. So of course, he listens. There shouldn’t be any secrets between paladins, right? (Keith shouldn’t be talking but here he is.)

_“Shiro, what did I do?? I thought me an’ Keith were getting close and now all he does is avoid me!”_

The other voice is softer, so he can only make a few words out. Keith presses his ear against the wall the noise is coming from.

_“...did something wrong? ....approach...ask..”_

Oh no. Keith did not like how that was sounding. He zooms away like he was found at the scene of a crime. He needed time to sort his feelings out, to crush his feelings. Things could go back to normal if he wasn’t so focused on this disgusting heart mush.

For now, the paladin focuses on controlling his emotions. Maybe meditation would do the trick to clear his mind. It works for a time. The calm breathing, the images of crest after crest of waves crashing weakly on a beach, the silence of his room.

That is, until he imagines walking barefoot on the sand, watching the sun descend, hand in hand with the taller pilot. It was _cliché_ and dorky. Disgusting. So very, very disgusting. He had to put a stop to this.

-

Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe he was overthinking things. Maybe, on the slightest off chance, Lance would give him a chance. Then they’d fight, break up, and the feelings would be gone. Maybe that’s what Keith needed. However, it would cause a rift in the team for a long while, and the universe shouldn’t have to suffer because of his feelings. Welp. There goes that idea.

Being so lost in thought, he isn’t entirely surprised when he ends up bumping into someone on his way to the training deck.

“Shit, sor-”

Oh. _Oh._ Of _course_ it had to be Lance, of all people. He’s too out of it to go into his fight (or flight, but usually it’s always fight) mode. Maybe it was time to just come face to face with matters.

“Keith, what the hell man? Why’ve you been avoiding me so much?” the brunet furrows his eyebrows, sapphire irises frustrated, “What alien crawled up your ass?”

Ah yes. Instead of approaching him calmly, he was greeted with near yelling. This made it easier to get angry and easier to forget about those gross feelings.

“I like my alone time, okay?” Keith takes a step to the side, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, I get that, but you’ve literally been running away from me for the past few weeks.” Lance moves in front of him, voice dripping with irritation.

Well, he wasn’t wrong. It’s not exactly easy to deal with conflicting feelings, and when the subject of those feelings is always around, he just wants to scream and put his face in a pillow. But it wasn’t like he could just _tell_ Lance that.

“...I don’t know, okay? I’m just. Confused.”

Was he confused? Yes, very much so. Why is he falling for _Lance_ of all people? What did he do to the universe to deserve this? Violet orbs lock themselves with their owner’s fingerless gloves. Ick, stray strings. He’s gonna have to cut those off.

“Yeah, so am I. Look, I dunno what I did, but can we just be cool?”

Don’t look at his face. Don’t look at his eyes. Don’t notice how he’s getting closer and closer-

“Can you back your pretty ass up a few feet? Personal space, dude.”

…

Oh _no._ Keith can practically _hear_ the grin crawling up Lance’s face. This was bad. He needed to leave _right now._ However, he’s stopped with a hand on his forearm.

“So you think my ass is pretty, huh? Is that what’s gotten your panties up in a bunch, _sweetie pie?_ ”

Keith wants to retort with some witty comeback, like _Yeah, pretty pathetic,_ but his mouth is dry and he can’t form words. Might as well just let the shame sink in.

“ _Oh my god._ You’re serious, aren’t you?” Lance can feel his face heat up as he lets go of the arm in his grip.

“Don’t you _dare_ say a word.”

With that, the shorter male bolts straight to his room. Alright. Outside of the whole saving the universe thing, he was never going to talk to Lance again, or anyone else, probably. This is fine. After all, none of this was real, right? There was no way that he would lose his composure over a crush if this was real life. Any minute now he would wake up and be back at home, or at the garrison, or somewhere, _anywhere_ else.

-

Sleep was so nice. That feeling of languidness in between sleep cycles is one that Keith cherished, where he wasn’t quite awake and could still fall into a deep slumber. When someone is banging on his bedroom door, he ignores it until he hears a “I _will_ get Shiro to bust this door down if you don’t open up!”

So the boy groans into his pillow, hair all messed up as he gets to his feet and eventually makes his way towards the door. He rubs his eyes with one hand, the other opening the door (which he regrets for two reasons; one, being that bright light practically floods his room and his eyes are not ready for that fuck shit, and two, that it’s Lance.) He almost shuts the door before the other slides into the room.

“What do you want..?”

Thank god Keith isn’t fully coherent yet. He flops back over on his bed in an unceremonious heap, which is _so weird_ for Lance to see. At least he wasn’t overly grumpy.

“Uh, about what you said last night..”

Last night? Ah yes, the totally embarrassing not-confession. He mentally prepares himself for the whole “I’m not gay” speech. Why else would he come in here?

“Forget it.” the red paladin yawns, “‘nd get out. I’m tired.”

Lance looks completely offended, but of course Keith can’t tell. “How rude. I go out of my way to come here to tell you that your ass is cute too, and all I get is yelled at. Whatever.”

The sound of the closing door is what brings him out of his sleepy daze, and he tries to process what just happened. Just as he’s about to fall asleep, it dawns on him that at least his crush thought he was decent looking, and he practically falls off the bed in a scramble to get up. Oh man. _Oh man._

“This can’t be real…”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so tired of writing this get this out of my fucking face just take it i don't know what the fuck it's supposed to be anymore


End file.
